1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.

4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness    (via desertblooms)

(Source: emma-elsworthy)

basedgosh:

HELLO BOYS YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE SAD IF THE GIRL YOU LIKE DOESNT LIKE YOU BACK
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL HER A WHORE/SLUT/PRUDE BITCH ETC AND THINK YOURE ENTITLED TO HER NETHER REGIONS

One day, whether you
are 14,
28 
or 65

you will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find––

is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.
Beau Taplin, "The Awful Truth" (via theflowershop)

(Source: afadthatlastsforever)

dejacoendou:

hey-doesnt-he-rap:

chicken-nuggets-galore:

Do twins have the same sized dick?

now we’re asking the real questions

As a twin, I can say my dick is definitely bigger than my sister’s.

(Source: chicken-nuggets-galore)

  1. The boy who takes your virginity is only going to love you long enough for you to stay in his bed.
  2. Your first job is never the best job. But you’ll meet some of your best friends there.
  3. Sometimes things don’t go the way you expect them to at all.
  4. People are usually never who they say they are.
  5. If you love someone, you need to tell them. Nobody is good at the guessing game.
  6. If your best friends don’t like the boy you’re involving yourself with, chances are he’s bad news.
  7. If a boy starts an invitation with, “Are you home alone”/”I’ll be home alone”, say no. You are a human being, not a toy to be played with.
  8. If some boy invites you to “the backseat of his truck”, he’s a piece of shit. Tell him to fuck himself.
  9. “Sorry” doesn’t always fix what you messed up.
  10. Stop wasting time wishing you could take back what you already did.
  11. You are at fault sometimes.
  12. There’s going to be a boy that you let get away. Yes, you loved him. It’s for the best, though.
  13. Toxic people hardly ever start off toxic.
  14. It’s always nice to make new friends, but never forget who your real friends are.
  15. Never lose the friends that would answer their phone at 3am if you called
  16. Never lose sight of who you are because of a boy.
― 16 Things I Learned While Being 16 (via dizzyhemmings)

i-am-momo-senpai:

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

enchantedsnail:

punksexandshit:

ceaseless-reverie:

50shadesofgaylinson:

What do strippers do when they’re on their period

What do female astronauts do when they’re on their period

what do homeless women do when they get their period

what did tribeswomen do when they got their period

what do fictional characters do when they get their period

We never even solved the first one

(Source: littleladylouis)

earthdad:

i usually forget to message ppl back because i forget that i have a life